A cool thing that everyone should do all the time is spend Saturday night at home with your parents. There is probably nothing cooler? Like, the best part is how you could be doing literally anything else in the world but instead you’re watching Sam Worthington mumble his way through Clash of the Titans while your mum does a Sudoku.

SPOILER

The best part is when Sam cuts of Medusa’s head and her body writhes around for a bit before falling into the lava of hell (?) and then flames just burst everywhere? Also cool is how the entire story is based around some guy getting mad at his wife for Zeus raping her and then he tries to murder the rape baby and his wife. I think. Hollywood rules and I rule at following the plots of simple action movies probably. 

GUYS! How did this not appear on EVERYONE’S “best of 2011” lists? If this doesn’t appear on the people’s “best songs of the ten-ies(?)” lists I am going to be legit mad because THIS SONG! SO GOOD!

The cool thing about Jessica Mauboy songs is that they are really good - no exceptions, of course. The cool thing about this song is that it’s lyrically perfect? Like, no one could write better space metaphors than those in this song, this is maybe even better than Yeezy’s verse in E.T. Favourite parts include (but are not limited to):

“We come from different places, different constellations”

“I felt you pulling me, harder than gravity”

“‘Ey, there’s no time or space/Everything just melts away when I’m lying here/In your galaxy”

“Like a comet to my heart/You illuminate that dark”

There is only ONE downside to this song (besides that it is only like 4 chords, ridiculous, and loaded with bad metaphors and similes) and that is that Stan Walker is the worst singer probably in the country. What is he even doing with his voice? Why does his voice do that? WHY IS HE SINGING LIKE THAT? Did he lose a bet? He totally lost bet. 

Regardless, BEST SONG EVER! SO GOOD! IN YOUR GALAXY! 

Dick Diver’s debut album because no other band encapsulates my life like this fucking band.

Patrick Stump’s debut album because it’s awful and I hate it. 

American Horror Story. Yep, it’s pretty terrible but also great? Like how good are the opening credits and just the entire concept? Plus I love how there is an angsty teenage girl song playing every time the angsty teenage girl is alone on screen. 

The state of California because L.A is a disgusting mess of concrete that’s a constant 30 degrees and it’s beautiful. Roads shouldn’t be such integral parts in the landscape of anywhere but it just works. San Francisco is also the coolest and I want to live there forever except not because America has shitty working conditions. No offence. 

SXSW and - highlight within a highlight - Ye’s GOOD music showcase in a powerplant that I mention all the time forever because it was the best and free vodka! 

Avril Lavigne - What the Hell aka the best song of 2011 because wth? 

New York City, specifically staying in a penthouse in Manhattan for 2 weeks for free and woah - what a fucking city right? Let’s all be rich and move to NY. Yep cool.

The Morocco action set-piece in Tintin. The thing I love about film in the cinema is that it does things that are sometimes just so much fun and cannot be achieved anywhere else! This is one of the most fun things to have appeared on cinema screens since forever and woah, it is good. Spielberg obviously makes dumb kid friendly movies all the time (almost all the time) but who cares because this is “shot” (how do cartoons work?) with such grace and fluidity and joy that everyone should be enthralled by it. Loved it. 

Lost City Trek in Colombia because it went for 5 days in the jungle and it was painful and I didn’t even kill myself midway through. ALSO, getting sick in the Colombian jungle is a real highlight and a cool thing to tell people about especially when you mention the torrential rain and falling over about 100 times in one day because the path was un-walkable. That is a good highlight. 

The actual driving scenes in Drive because L.A. 

Falling back in love with Against Me! after they fucking killed it at Sasquatch because sometimes you forget you love something for a long time and then that love is rekindled like a battery (cool analogy) and holy shit, this band! PLUS Black Crosses is a cool demo/b-sides collection and UNF their lyrics! 

Getting a job that doesn’t make me want to kill myself and possibly furthers my career. This is the first time in a while this has happened so TY 2011.

Dating a cool guy. 

Ducktails - Hamilton Road. I don’t give a fuck about most of Ducktails’ work - sorry, it’s kind of boring? - but this song is just the perfect mix of laidback summer vibes + loops that works super well. It’s great. 

Homeland because it’s the best. This is a good TV show because at first you’re like “OMG how can they sustain this level of intensity?” and then they keep doing it! Like even at one point where some stuff is revealed you’re like “Woah! What will happen now? He really is good?” but then BAM not even but yes even?! And real good acting from everyone involved. How good is Claire Danes during the breakdown episode and how good is Mandy in everyone episode?

So yep, 2011 was real good! SO GOOD IN FACT! Almost nothing bad has happened and it’s almost over! THIS IS WAS A VERY LONG POST!